[RSI.com] Something Every Tuesday

[ Music ]

Announcer: Welcome back to Something Every Tuesday with Esen Landari! Brought to you by Kel-To, “It’s a long road out there; we make it a little shorter,” and RSI, “Roberts Space Industries: Delivering the Stars since 2075.” Back to you, Esen!

[ Applause ]

Let’s hear it for SET’s awesome announcer, Christine. Isn’t she great!

[ Applause ]

Our final guest tonight is currently in a dead heat with Suj Kossi to be the next Senator from Elysium IV. Please welcome Gabrielle Gracián!

[ Applause ]

Thanks for being here, Counselor Gracián. It’s a pleasure to have you on the show.

Gabrielle Gracián: So nice to be here, and please, call me Gabby.

How about that? First-name basis already; you move fast, Gabby. You sure you have the right temperament for the Senate? ’Cause last time I checked, they move slower than Corel’s customs line.

[ Polite Chuckle ]

Gabrielle Gracián: Well, Esen, that’s actually one of the reasons I’m running. The Senate is meant to be a deliberative body, not a dysfunctional one. Unlike either of my opponents, I have over a decade of experience in public office overcoming gridlock and passing legislation to help the people of Jalan.

That’s great! Unfortunately, I don’t live in Jalan, and I don’t think most of my audience does either. Know what? That’s not true. I definitely know most don’t live there. I’ve seen the viewer stats. Let’s just say there are a lot more SET fans living in Stor-All containers than you’d expect …

[ Laughter ]

So Gabby, your election race has been garnering Empire-wide attention for months now. You’ve had a career in politics, served on Jalan’s Governor’s Council and whatnot. How is this attention affecting your campaign?

Gabrielle Gracián: It takes some adjustment. I met Marcus Shaar backstage. Somehow he’s even more handsome in person than in his vids.

[ Applause, Catcalls ]

I know, right? I’m 99% certain some executive grew him in a lab.

Gabrielle Gracián: Turns out he shot a vid in my hometown of Gemma last year and loved every minute of it. So not only is he handsome, he also has great taste.

Oh, I see, so the real reason you want to join the Senate is so you can meet sizzlers like Marcus. Got it. Makes perfect sense.

[ Laughter ]

Gabrielle Gracián: Well that’s just a small part. I’m really running because I want to help people. Every day for the past decade I have gone to work for Jalan. I have brought good jobs to the planet through trade deals, and made it easier for residents to create their own jobs by eradicating inefficient small business bureaucracy.

My motto has always been “make government better, not bigger,” and I look forward to putting that principle into practice for the entire Empire, not just Jalan.

Last week we had your main opponent, Suj Kossi, on the show, who, if you’ve been living in a cave, is trying to become the first Tevarin Senator. The latest poll has you and Kossi running neck and neck. With the May 3rd election almost here, what will make you a better Senator than Suj Kossi?

Gabrielle Gracián: First, this isn’t simply a race between Mr. Kossi and myself. There’s also Mr. Marigold to consider.

Yeah, but let’s be real. The Empire is enthralled by this election because of Mr. Kossi. Just a few years ago, the thought of a Tevarin Senator seemed farfetched. Now you’re the one who’s in the way of history. How does that make you feel?

Gabrielle Gracián: I think it’s great that the Empire is interested. Anytime the public gets engaged, it’s a win for the democratic process.

History is made every time a new Senator is elected. So May 3rd will be a memorable election day regardless of who wins.

But you have to admit there’s more at stake here, at least from a historical perspective, than most Senate races. That has to affect you, and your campaign, in some way, right?

Gabrielle Gracián: Listen, at the end of the day, this is a race about ideas, not identity, and I am confident that my ideas are better for the voters of Jalan. That’s what I’ve been focused on, and that’s why I think I’ll win.

Now, Gabby, I have to admit it’s a bit unusual for us to have a candidate for Senate on this show. My producers aren’t too keen on it, because I’m known to ask a lot of hard questions. Like, “Can I get that with extra cheese?” Or … “does this smell weird to anyone else?” You know, really hard hitting stuff.

Gabrielle Gracián: Trust me, I know. My campaign manager ran me through the wringer to prepare for this interview.

Now, one of the criticisms you’ve faced is that you’re too prepared with your answers.

Gabrielle Gracián: I didn’t realize it’s a political disadvantage to know the issues.

See, that’s a great response, but some would argue that you come off a bit too slick. So I wanted to do something to get both of us out of our comfort zones. Would you be open to playing a little game with me?

Gabrielle Gracián: Sounds fun. What’s the game?

A little fan favorite called “Spin Cycle”!

[ Applause ]

Before us is a giant wheel with various categories on it. Some are serious, like trade policy, and others are a bit more playful. So we’ll take turns spinning the wheel, and our announcer Christine will ask us a question related to whatever category the wheel lands on. We must either answer that question, or “pass.” But if you “pass,” you have to tell the audience the last search term you typed into your mobiGlas. You ready?

Gabrielle Gracián: Let’s do it!

[ Applause, Cheers ]

I’ll go first …

[ Spinning Sound ]

… and my first question will come from the ‘Vanduul’ category.

Announcer: Following the announcement of Retribution joining the war effort, what else can be done to ensure the UEE’s victory against the Vanduul?

Ok … kinda feel like this one would’ve been perfect for you, Gabby. So what would I, Esen Landari, do to ensure we win the war against the Vanduul?

How about make them watch my show? Have we tried using soft power yet? Pretty sure ’Duul would love my comedy stylings. Right? Talking universal appeal, here.

[ Applause ]

You’re up, Gabby. Give that wheel a good spin!

[ Spinning Sound ]

And your first … category … is … oohhh, ‘mineral rights.’ Damn it. This one was supposed to be for me. But that’s just the way the wheel works.

Announcer: Are you for or against Jalan opening restricted lands to mining claims?

Gabrielle Gracián: I believe government regulation has stifled Jalan’s mining industry, and many of these restrictions should be eliminated or modified. Now, this is a sensitive issue due to the number of Tevarin buildings and archaeological sites on Jalan. So I would lead the charge to find a solution that allows companies to expand their claims, which will add more jobs and bring more money to our planet’s economy, while also preserving the places that make Jalan truly unique in this Empire.

[ Applause ]

Come on, Gabby, it takes the fun out of it if you’re going to answer everything so eloquently all the time. The audience is here to see stumbles and missteps.

Gabrielle Gracián: I’ll try harder next time. Or try less?

All right, then you get off with a warning this time. My turn …

[ Spinning Sound ]

‘Airlock.’

Announcer: You’re stuck in an airlock with Jalan Senate candidates Suj Kossi and Sakae Marigold. Due to a malfunction, the airlock is about to depressurize but there are only two space suits. What do you do?

Gabrielle Gracián: Glad I didn’t get that one.

Yeah, this is an easy one for me. I put on both space suits in case one malfunctions.

[ Laughter ]

We’ve got time for one more, Gabby. Give that wheel a spin!

[ Spinning Sound ]

… ‘Coffee or tea.’

Announcer: Do you prefer coffee or tea?

Gabrielle Gracián: Neither. I’ll take a cup of raleb over either of those any day.

Raleb, what’s that?

Gabrielle Gracián: A traditional Tevarin drink. It’s made from a plant native to Jalan. If you look hard, you can find it off planet, but it’s not nearly as good. You’ll have to visit Jalan and try some!

Now the important question, does it contain alcohol?

Gabrielle Gracián: Depends on how my day is going.

[ Laughter ]

I want to thank Gabrielle Gracián for joining us tonight. If you want to learn more about Counselor Gracián, you can find plenty of info about her and her positions on the Spectrum. Finally, residents of Jalan, remember to vote for your future Senator on May 3rd!

I’m Esen Landari. See you next week because we have Something Everything Tuesday. Good night!

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